"When God gives you a clear determination of His will for you, all your striving to maintain that relationship by some particular method is completely unnecessary. All that is required is to live a natural life of absolute dependence on Jesus Christ."

-Oswald Chambers

Support raising has been a challenge. At times it's difficult to trust that God will provide. It's hard to be solely dependent on him when it comes to money. But I know that he controls all things, and money is a small thing for him.

$4,375 is a daunting number for a high school senior who has the joys of college tuition also on her shoulders. But the good news is that over the past three months, I went from no money toward my trip to 40% funded :) While that still leaves a good chunk left, it's amazing that I've already reached one of my support deadlines that isn't due for another two months.

Thank you everyone who has helped me out so far :) I wouldn't be going to Africa if it wasn't for your support, it means the world :)

If you're interested in supporting me financially you can print out one of my support cards here and send it to the address listed. You can also make donations online through the AIM website (when asked, program is Ambassador). If you have any questions you can contact me :)

Thank you all for everything! And thank you for reading my blog... as intimidating as it seemed at first when I'd get random people coming up to me and telling me that they enjoyed reading it. I'm glad you're interested :).


-Emily

A couple of weeks ago, I went to a worship night. I came into that evening not expecting for God to show up. I didn't even know that the usual schedule for the night was replaced... but by the end of worship I found myself the happiest that I had been in months, dancing without a care in the world.

Spiritual drought is rough. And while I don't totally understand why we go through times where God seems to be distant and silent, I know that it doesn't last forever, no matter how bad it gets, no matter how long it goes on.

Here's what I jotted down after I got home that Wednesday night:


"It's in these moments where I never want to leave.
The only thing in the world that I could fear is being away from him. To lose him from my life, and be separated from him forever. It's the worst thing that could possibly happen to me. And yet I don't even have to fear this... there is no way, no chance that I will ever lose him or be forgotten by him. In my world full of uncertainty... he is the one truth, the only guarantee.
So as I sit here in this moment, surrounded by my to do list, my french book sitting open next to me, scholarship due dates looming ahead and a whole uncertain world of college coming in a matter of months, I am so happy. I have all I need. I never want this feeling to end. I want to sit here forever with him. In nine short hours I will be getting up to start a new day, these feelings fade... but all this means is that I get to look forward to the next time I am filled up with him :)"


If you've ever felt like God's abandoned you, you're not alone. I've been there and so have others. But have hope and have faith. How you feel doesn't change who God is. He will show up when you least expect it. The drought will end and he will come flooding in. Don't give up.



-Emily

This is from a poster hanging up in my room, painted and written by Eric Samuel Timm:

You are one of many yet alone in one kind. Truly unique. I have spoken yet you have not listened. I have forgiven you for your closed ears. Many are your plans, but it is my purpose for your life that will prevail should you choose a higher calling: the calling that I have for you. Do you not want to finish your course? I have groomed your path. Must you walk another way? The road ahead is not easy. You have made a mess of some areas, brought forth obstructions, but know that I am with you. I long to be near you. I cannot force you to have a will near to my own. I fight for your soul. If you only knew of the love I have for you, there would be less options in your mind. There is only one right answer. Do not push me away. My creation, choose to believe. Speak to me. Follow me. Pick up your sword and fight to know me. I am knocking, invite me. Seek after me with all of your heart and every bit of your strength and you will find me. You shall rest in the peace that I have for you. Plans to keep you. Please try. You must fight a good fight. You must keep your faith. Do not fall to deception or trickery. Satan seeks to disable you. He has won some ground but I am claiming you back. A day will come that will bring to your remembrance this. You shall look into my face, a changed creation, one you have not met yet. Green pastures lie ahead, but you must fight through thorns and brush to get there. Please believe my message. I deem you worthy of future success. I stand all around you. Where ever you go I will follow. When I go you shall know. The emptiness you have needs my mercy filling, come to the water my river runs deep.
Believe. Do not Doubt.
Walk Forward.
The war is raging. Rage on.

-Emily