Feed my sheep.

It's five in the morning, I haven't slept one minute tonight, I have to get up in two hours and it's also daylight savings time. But what the heck. I couldn't sleep because I was thinking about this:

So over the past week, I was given an assignment for our annual upcoming missions week at my church that is next weekend. I was to choose from a list of world issues and make a station about it to inform people about it. The list was- world hunger, world water crisis, unreached people, AIDS, persecution of Christians, poverty, child soldiers, child sex slavery, and the need for Christ in the US.

Now, if you know me well at all, you can already guess which one I chose. But, for the less informed, I'm making mine on child soldiers. ;)

Part of the assignment is also to make it interactive... so stuff to touch, look at, or listen to. Today, trying to brainstorm some ideas, I turned to some of my close friends. After a few minutes of attempting some ideas, both of the conversations ended with "I just don't know that much about child soldiers I guess."

Instantly I'm transported back to my 10th grade World Geography class. We've started our Africa unit a few weeks ago. Today we're watching a documentary titled, "Invisible Children". It's first hour and I'm sleepy, but I'm ready for a day that a movie will take up the whole class period in. The film starts. After about 2 minutes, I'm sucked into the story of three boys who traveled to Sudan to document the ongoing war but instead discovered the heartbreaking truths in Northern Uganda; the fear of hundreds of thousands of children of being abducted into the Lords Resistance Army and the horrors of the thousands that have been. I sit in my cold desk, my stomach churning and my eyes welling with tears. How had I never heard of this before? I look around the class at my classmates. Some of them are sleeping. A lot of them look bored. Two girls next to me are giggling and passing notes. They're not going to give the people of Uganda a second thought after the next half an hour is over. Anger starts to build up inside of me. How can you watch this and go on with your day the same? How could you not feel compassion for these kids? How much will it take for these people to understand? How can something that tears me up inside not even faze the people 3 feet away from me?

That was the day that inspired me to go to Uganda. The lack of response from my peers sickened me. If I didn't go to love those children, who would?

Ever since, I'm always shocked at the lack of knowledge on this subject. Many people I talk to have never heard of any of this stuff. And the people who have just don't feel the same passion towards it I do (which, as a disclaimer, is totally okay. Everyone's heart breaks for different things. I just can't comprehend not feeling the way about it I do). But today, I learned something.

As I thought back to how I felt that day in class, about the unjustness of the situation in Uganda and the apathy of those around me... I got a taste of how God must feel. How about those days when I don't have an ounce of compassion for those around me at school? "How can you look at that person and go on with your day the same, Emily? Don't you know that they matter? How much will it take for you to understand? I love this person passionately and yet you pass them by. It doesn't even faze you. How could you not feel compassion for them? I look at them and it tears me apart."

Truth is... the people I come in contact with every day are just as important as ex child soldiers, the mother of three who suffers from AIDS, the orphans living in tents in Haiti, the young girls who sell their bodies in India, and the countless people who didn't eat today. So reality check, if you're reading this you matter a lot. And I pray that in some way, I can show you that through my actions.

above: former child soldiers returning home.

-Emily